


never knew how proud i'd feel

by danhoweiis, twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Parents, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, M/M, Pride, Pride Parades, they r married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 23:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19451872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danhoweiis/pseuds/danhoweiis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: Dan and Phil take their kids to a pride parade for the first time.





	never knew how proud i'd feel

**Author's Note:**

> charlotte: working with fizz is a dream and i hope we continue to write more simon and seb fics for years to come
> 
> fizz: i love our little family that we've created and i hope u guys do toooo (there is Definitely more to come)

“Do you really think taking them is the best idea? I mean, all those people and they might get overwhelmed.”

Dan stared blankly at Phil. “Do you even know our children? They thrive in loud, crazy environments. Complete opposites to us. Plus, we always said we’d want to take them one day when they’re old enough to understand it better.”

“I know, it’s just...I don’t want them getting hurt or lost.” Phil was really stubborn, and Dan had known this since they met. But all those years had given him enough practice to know how to handle Phil.

“Then we’ll surgically attach them to our arms and make sure one of us always has hold of one of them.” He said. “It’ll be fine Phil, they’re big boys.”

“Dads right, now that we’re 8 we can do whatever we want,” came Sebastian’s voice.

Dan scoffed as he turned around to see the boys walking into the lounge. “I don’t think so.”

“We can. And we can go wherever you’re planning on taking us. We were spying on you.”

“There’s no privacy in this house anymore.” Dan said.

“Me and your dad were thinking of taking you to pride this year in London.” Phil explained. “Do you remember us telling you about it last year?”

The twins perched themselves on the coffee table and looked up at them. “Is that when you sent us both to stay with Uncle Martyn because you were going to a party?” Seb asked curiously.

“Yeah, yeah it was. Only we thought this year you could come with us.” Dan added.

“Is there music?” Simon asked.

“There is,” Phil started. “Pride is a really wonderful thing that happens in lots of cities over the summer. It’s sort of a big celebration of people who are a little different. So..like me and your dad. Or women who have girlfriends you know like Miss Johnson at school. And people go and celebrate being happy and loving whoever they want.”

The twins stayed silent as they looked at Dan and Phil. “So, will there be other children there who have 2 daddy’s?”

Dan nodded. “There will be, and other children who have 2 mums.”

The twins glanced at each other and hopped down from the coffee table. “We need to talk about this in private.” Sebastian said as he pulled Simon to go and hide behind the couch.

Dan watched them walk off and rolled his eyes. “Why are they so dramatic?”

Phil glared at him. “You’re really asking me that?”

A few moments later, the twins walked back out in front of Dan and Phil. “We have decided that yes we would like to go to Pride but only if we can wear the rainbow t shirts you bought us last year.”

Dan and Phil looked at each other and tried to stifle their laughs. “What do you think? They drive a hard bargain,” Dan said, tapping his chin as he pretended to think about it. 

“I think yes. Rainbow t-shirts it is.” Phil said with a smile.

The boys grinned and looked at each other excitedly before running off down the hallway. 

“Where are you going?” Phil called after them,

“To try on our t-shirts to see if they fit.”

Dan let out a groan and ran his hand through his fringe. “People are going to judge us and think we’re the type of gay dads who force their children to only wear rainbow clothes.”

Phil chuckled. “They make up for the lack of colour in your wardrobe,”

Dan shoved Phil’s thigh with his foot. “Stop judging my fashion choices. Besides, my heart is rainbow enough to make up for the lack of colour in my clothes.”

Phil smiled. “See, you’re a big softie really.”

-

“Dad!” 

“Da!” 

Phil groaned, shoving his head under his pillow. But the yelling didn’t stop, only got muffled. And then the bed started moving. _Bouncing_ . “Dad, Da, wake up! We gotta _gooooo_!” 

“Mmph.” 

The twins never got up before Dan and Phil, other than on Christmas. But Phil knew it wasn’t December. So why…

“We gotta go to Pride! C’mon!” 

_Oh_. 

He lifted a hand to grab Dan next to him, and try to shake him awake. “Dan,” he mumbled. “Wake up, we -” yawn, “- Pride, we gotta -” He never completed the sentence, because his arm got tired and he started to drift again. 

Simon and Sebastian weren’t having any of it though. They literally jumped onto their fathers’ backs, and tried to physically pull them up. 

“‘M up, I’m up,” Phil groaned, sitting up quickly, making Simon slide off of him. He stretched his arms and said, “Let’s go get breakfast. What’re you in the mood for?” 

Sebastian replied, “Oh, we ate already!” 

“Excuse me?”

“We made cereal!” 

At that, Dan shot up out of bed like someone had poured ice cold water over his face, and said, “What the fu - w-what did you just say?” 

The shock made both of them wake up a little bit more and actually take a good look at their sons. Both Simon and Sebastian were fully dressed - they had on their t-shirts with rainbows on them, wore their caps and shorts, even had on socks. 

“Did we sleep in?” Dan asked, slightly dazed. 

Phil didn’t answer, just grabbed his phone from the nightstand and moaned in slight annoyance. “Boys, it’s _7am_. Why are you dressed?” 

The twins got off the bed and crossed their arms across their chests. “We’ll be waiting downstairs,” Simon said bluntly and they turned around and marched out the door. 

Dan fell back onto his back and said, “Who _raised_ them?” 

-

Dan and Phil did eventually get up, and change into their Pride outfits: Phil went for a classic pair of light washed denim shorts and a red shirt with hearts on it, and Dan, never one to do anything boring, got out his black romper. 

They went downstairs to join their kids, who had now put on their shoes and were packing their backpacks for the day. 

“Water...sunscreen you can keep,” Sebastian said, passing the bottle to his brother.

Dan and Phil smiled at them. “You ready to go?” Dan asked, making them look up. 

“Yeah!” They both exclaimed together. 

“Okay! But first, we have to take a picture, like, do you _see_ how cute we all look?!” 

They all gathered around the full length mirror in the hallway and Dan held his phone up. The twins, being the natural performers they were posed in front of the mirror, throwing peace signs, whilst Dan did his best to look effortlessly cool as Phil leaned into him.

Dan took a few photos before he was happy and flicked through them to check they were worthy of sharing with the world. 

“Get a good one?” Phil asked, leaning over his shoulder.

Dan showed him one and smiled. “Yeah. We look cute.”

-

Their grip on the twins’ hands were like iron, and for good reason. There were people _everywhere_. Simon and Sebastian, fortunately, didn’t seem to be bothered by it. Since they’d arrived, the boys looked around, wide-eyed and mouths open, at the sights. There were stalls for food and stalls that sold flags. There were people getting their faces painted. It was truly the happiest place they’d ever been to. 

“I wanna get a butterfly on my face!” Simon said, pointing at someone who walked past with a glittery butterfly on their cheek. They turned around to look at him, and winked before walking away. Simon grinned at Dan and Phil, and they melted. 

“Let’s all get something, huh?” 

In the end, Simon gets his butterfly, Sebastian gets a red heart and Dan and Phil get matching silver and blue crescent moons around their right eyes. They took a few selfies, and Phil made the twins stand next to each other for a picture of just them (“Grandma Kath will want some for her wall!”). 

They continued walking through the crowds and stalls, Simon and Seb getting distracted by almost everything.

“Dad, that man was wearing a dress!” Seb said, his eyes following a tall man who had just walked past wearing a long green dress.

Dan glanced behind him to see them walk off into the crowd. “That’s one thing that’s really good about pride. People can wear whatever they want and be whoever they want to be.”

Seb continued looking around at the people walking past before turning to Dan. “I don’t think I’d like to wear a dress because when I run around it would flap up and everyone would see my Batman pants.”

Dan stifled a laugh. “Well, that’s okay bud. You don’t have to wear a dress.”

There was another half an hour before the parade would start and the boys were getting hungry.

“We want cake! Look, that shop sells rainbow cakes! Please can we have one?” Simon whined.

“Yes, of course we can! Did you know that we had rainbow cake for Dad's birthday one year?” Phil said. He exchanged a look with Dan, remembering his twenty-eighth birthday, and surprising him with his cake that said, ‘Big D’s Big B!’ with a big rainbow above it. 

“Really?!” The twins looked at them, wide-eyed and surprised. “Can we see pictures?” 

“Don’t you dare show them a picture.” Dan whispered, hoping the twins didn’t hear him.

Phil grinned, his tongue sticking out slightly, an old habit that never really died. “Unfortunately, we didn’t take any,” he said, much to the disappointment of his sons. “But let’s go get you guys a couple of slices, huh?”

They walked over to the stall where a woman with bright pink hair stood handing out cake to customers. She smiled when the four walked over and looked down at the twins. 

“What can I get you boys?” She asked them.

“They’ll have a slice of the rainbow cake,” Phil said as he looked down at the twins who had their noses pressed up to the glass front.

“Oh, I think we can do that for you. You boys look fabulous in your t shirts.” She said with a grin.

Sebastian stood back and looked down at his shirt. “Our dads bought them for us,” He said smiling, showing off his shirt.

“They wanted to buy them.” Dan added quickly, “We don’t force our children into rainbow themed clothing.”

The woman chuckled. “Nothing wrong with it if you did.” She said passing the cakes to the twins. Their eyes widened as they took the cake and didn’t hesitate before taking a large bite, frosting covering their top lip and chin.

“Thank you,” Phil said, handing her the money before they walked away to continue looking around the stalls.

“How are the cakes boys?” Phil asked.

“Really good!” They replied in unison.

Dan chuckled as they both turned around, icing smeared across their cheeks and cake crumbs on their lips. “Wow, they make almost as much mess as you Phil!” Dan joked. “Let me take a picture of you,” He said, pulling out his phone and crouching down. 

The twins held their own slices in one hand and grasped each other’s other hand and grinned at the camera as Dan clicked away. “Wow, they really are natural posers,” Phil commented, standing next to Dan, sneaking a peek at the pictures. 

Dan fake-sniffled and wiped a non-existent tear from his eye. “I know. They learnt from the best.” He said. 

-

Eventually, one of the twins inevitably got tired and that’s how Sebastian ended up perched on Phil’s shoulders, while Simon got into Dan’s arms, his arms wrapped around Dan’s neck. They were stood on the pavement, waiting for the parade to begin. 

“Um, excuse me?” Someone said from their right. 

Dan turned to the voice, ready to apologise if they were being an inconvenience, but what he saw was someone who didn’t look as much _angry_ as they did...amazed? They had the trans flag painted on one of their cheeks and couldn’t have been younger than like, twenty-five. “Hi!” Dan said, by now figuring out that this was probably a viewer from their expression and general nervous disposition. “How are you?” 

“I’m good! I hope I’m not interrupting but I’ve been a fan of you and Phil for _years_. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you’ve done. You both really helped me figure out who I am.” They said, gesturing to the flag on their cheek.

Phil grinned. “Oh that’s so sweet. We’re so glad we could do that for you.” He responded.

The fan looked between Simon and Seb who were staring at the stranger curiously. “C-could I get a photo? I know you’re with your family bu-”

“Of course,” Dan responded, bending down to place Simon on the floor. Phil did the same and lifted Seb from his shoulders, putting him on the ground. “Stay there boys,” Dan said, eyeing them before turning to the fan. “Sorry, if we don’t tell them they’d be off into the crowd in seconds.”

They all chuckled as they got into the positions to take the photo. Naturally Dan took the lead, holding the phone out in front of them to take a few selfies.

“Dad your hair’s a mess!” Seb shouted, giggling as he looked up at Dan’s fringe that was blowing wildly in the wind.

“Seb, quiet.” Phil said.

The viewer chuckled awkwardly, taking their phone back and looking up at Dan and Phil. “Thank you, c-could i get a hug?”

“Of course!” Dan said warmly, hugging them awkwardly before Phil did the same, wrapping his arms around them. 

“It was nice meeting you!” Phil called, as the viewer left, walking back into the crowd. 

“I wish I had purple hair like them.” Simon said as Dan lifted him back up into his arms. “Can I get purple hair?” 

“Sure you can!” Dan replied, cheerily. “When you’re older, or you’ll get kicked out of school.” 

Simon’s eyes went wide in horror. In his mind, there was nothing worse than being expelled. “Okay,” he said sadly. 

Sebastian was back on Phil’s shoulders, and thinking deeply. That person had said that his dads had helped them figure out who they were. He knew that having two dads made him different from his friends at school but it also made him feel proud. Proud that he had two dads who helped people and made them happy. He tapped Phil on the forehead and Phil turned his head. 

“Hm? Everything okay buddy?”

“Yeah. It was nice that that lady said you helped them. I think you and dad help lots of people.”

Phil smiled to himself and turned to Dan who was smiling back. “We try our best Seb,” Phil replied, rubbing his hand over Sebastian’s leg that was hanging from his shoulders.

Just then, the music got louder and people began peering through the crowd towards the road. 

“I think the parade is beginning boys!” Dan said, pointing towards the road where large floats and people wearing colourful costumes began to march. There was dancing and music and people waving as they walked past the crowds on the pavement. People wearing brightly coloured t shirts were walking along the sides and handing out rainbow flags to the spectators. They came over to where Dan and Phil were stood and handed two to Simon and Seb. 

The boys grinned and said ‘thank you’ before holding the flags up and waving them. Dan’s heart swelled as he watched his sons waving the flags happily. Him and Phil had done their best to bring up two happy and caring children and it was in that moment Dan realised they’d actually done a pretty good job.

-

After the parade had finished, the crowds dispersed and began to make their way through the stalls and to the large stage area that had been set up. There would be various singers performing and the four Lesters settled into a position at the edge of the crowd where the boys could see from atop Phil’s shoulders and in Dan’s arms.

They watched a few of the support acts before the music came to a sudden stop and bright rainbow lights flashed across the crowd. The twins froze immediately, their eyes widening with wonder as they watched a figure appear on the stage, a mop of brown curls on his head, the biggest smile on his face. 

“Is that Troye Sivan?!” Sebastian exclaimed. Dan and Phil grinned at their old friend as he waved at the audience, the opening notes of _My My My_ blasting from the speakers. Troye was the twins’ favourite artist, and they’d made plans to get together with him the next day so the kids could meet him, but that was a surprise, as was the performance happening right in front of them. 

“Da, are you taking videos?” Simon yelled at Phil. 

“I am!” Phil yelled back, smiling fondly at his son, who truly couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

Sebastian was swaying on Phil’s shoulders, singing along loudly to the song that had been played on repeat for almost two weeks the previous month. Phil spun the camera to capture Simon, who was singing along just as enthusiastically. Dan was mouthing along too, his eyes intently watching Troye onstage.

“Don’t forget I’m here too.” Phil called, looking directly at Dan.

Dan turned, his cheeks red from the heat of the crowd. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Phil raised his brow. “You know damn well what it means, Mr. Oh-My-God-Look-At-This-Photo-Troye-Just-Posted.”

“Am I not allowed to admire an aesthetically pleasing photo?”

“He was topless and pouting. Classic thirst trap.”

“Like you’ve never done exactly the same thing with photos of Chris Hemsworth?”

Phil didn’t have an answer and just stuck out his tongue before turning back to the parade and watching as the floats passed them by.

Their sons were smiling and dancing happily as they watched the various floats go past. Phil hadn’t felt this blissfully happy in a long time. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

-

“Remember when Troye jumped -”

“Into the crowd! And he waved at us -”

“And that dancer who did the cartwheels -”

“That was so _sick_.”

The twins hadn’t stopped reliving every second of the day all the way home. Phil could tell they’d thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and learnt some things too. The second they got home, they rushed to the large couch in the living room, where Dan and Phil joined them. 

“What now?” Simon asked, looking at them, his eyes glistening.

Dan and Phil looked at each other and then him. “You guys aren’t...tired?” Dan asked. 

The twins shook their heads in sync. “Can we watch a movie?” Sebastian asked. “Ooh, ooh, can we watch _Totoro_? Can we, can we, can we -” Simon joined in, and Dan raised his hands up in defeat. 

“Alright, alright! Da will load it up for us, and I’ll order some pizza, what do you say?”

“YAY!” 

-

Halfway through _My Neighbor Totoro_ , Phil started to get hot in his denim shorts. He got Simon - who was leaning on him - to move a little so he could get up and get changed. 

When he came back to the lounge, clad in a softer t-shirt and his old old old yellow emoji pants, his heart melted at the sight before him: 

The twins had fallen asleep, in each of Dan’s arms, heads on his chest, Seb slightly drooling on Dan’s romper. Dan’s head was lolled to the side, his mouth hanging open. It wasn’t the first time the family had had a tiring and long day that got them so exhausted they just passed out on the couch, but witnessing it filled Phil (lol) with so much love, it took everything in him to not squeeze them all in a hug, waking them up. 

Not for the first time, Phil thought about family and _his_ family with Dan that he’d made. The years they spent loving each other, and making a home out of wherever they were, no matter what. Before the twins, he didn’t think it was possible to feel so much all the time. He recalled all the conversations before they adopted, and their early days getting to know Simon and Seb, how it just made _sense_ \- them being a family. The boys fit into their life so easily, like. Like it was meant to _be_. 

Back when he was still figuring himself out, Phil had thought about family too. Not just in the traditional sense, but about people he could count on to accept him for he was. Now, he had his family that he loved so much, but who also loved _him_. Every day, he could come home to them and know that they loved him back, and now he knew that they would celebrate him and who he was, no questions asked. He didn’t understand how he got so lucky, but he was forever grateful for it. For them. 


End file.
